Nailed It

I just realized not only has it been a long time since I posted but that I also never told the story of the Lake Placid Half Marathon. The story here is, there really is no story. This is definitely a 'no news is good news' situation. Before I started, I expected the story to read something like this:

Local Buffalo woman is mercy flighted to Lake Placid Hospital after tripping over her own two feet around mile 8 of the Lake Placid Marathon and Half. The 25 year old woman broke both her ankles and, inexplicably, her nose.

I expected the story to be like that because, you know, have you met me? Sometime between miles 4 and 6 (though the original story was still highly plausible) the story in my head changed:

Local Buffalo woman is mercy flighted to Lake Placid Hospital after being attacked by a bear during the Lake Placid Marathon and Half. The woman, 25, was minding her own business when a black bear came barreling out of the woods and ripped her face off. She is in intensive care.

This came to mind because we may as well have been running directly through the woods. There were points on this course where it was just mountain roads with nothing but woods on either side. Not to mention one of our supporters saw a bear on the side of the road just the day before. These were the Adirondack's here people, any number of animals could have come creeping out of those woods. So that could have happened but around mile 12 I knew what the official story was going to be:

Local Buffalo woman is mercy flighted to Lake Placid Hospital after appearing to drop dead because no one alerted her to the fact that the Lake Placid Marathon and Half course was pretty much straight up hill. The woman, 25, is not dead and was taken back to the course so she could crawl across the finish line.

Seriously. I know I probably should have said to myself, 'Hey, this is in the Adirondack Mountains it is probably going to be hilly. Get your head in the game.' But no. Everyone we talked to said, 'Oh no, it's not that bad.' I promise you, no matter where you've run, you've never run up anything like this. Oh wait, there was that guy in the elevator who had just run his 42nd marathon who told us that Big Sur is worse. Freaking. Big. Sur. I've also heard San Francisco is a bitch but, the point here is, it was hilly. Happily, the story *actually* ended like this:

Local Buffalo woman actually ran across the finish line of her first half marathon in Lake Placid this weekend. The woman, 25, was fairly certain this would never happen but it did. She also never thought she would ever want to train for an endurance event again, but she does. Woman says she will be very careful to check the elevation map of the course she chooses next.

(It's pretty clear none of this was actually reported anywhere but here right?)

Just A Typical Monday Evening

The Scene: The Family Dinner Table

The Players: Myself, S, J & Mom

A family enjoys a pasta dinner and the following conversation ensues:

S: Before I leave tomorrow I need to get some books to take back to school with me. I'm going to start reading.

Me: But you hate reading?

S: I know but I have to start. I need to become smart.

J: Wait, what?

S: You know, I need to read to become smart. Reading makes you smart. Doesn't it?

This is where the stunned silence sets in from the other 3 family members.

S: Wait, doesn't reading make you really smart?

This is where the uproarious laughter sets in from all 4 family members.

Mom: Are you kidding me right now?

Me: What does that even mean make you smart?

S: Well, I don't know? You just read to get smart right?

We continued to have this conversation for another 15 minutes, haphazardly trying to decide if 'Reading makes you smart.' Turns out, there really is no answer. I mean, the 3 people in the family who do read continued to have the conversation so really, who are we to say what smart is? (I'm not even sure that's a grammatically correct sentence....) (However, I did just spell check this, not a single misspelled word. So smart.)

Things You Should *Never* Call Me To Help You With

Seriously. Never. These are 2 things you definitely do not want my help with. (OK, there's alot of things you wouldn't want my help with but I'm not trying to make myself feel horrible here so let's just stick with 2 for now.) So these 2 things include but are not limited to:

1. You never want to ask me for dating advice.
2. You never want to ask me to be a job reference for you.

I was asked for both of these things yesterday. How being a single girl with half a job qualifies me to help you with all that, I have no idea, but apparently it does? I mean, people asked me for the help right? Or maybe I was the only one who answered their phone....

Hint: They Sell Freaking Toys. Children's Toys!

Dear Company Who's Name I Shall Not Mention,

You provide a wonderful email service, alerting me when jobs are available at your organization. It is delightful. I don't have to do any of the work, I just have to open the email.

You know what is not delightful? When I get the same email, with the same position available, that I have applied for 5 times, for which you have not called me for an interview once. Clearly you have yet to fill this position but apparently my spectacular-ness is not good enough for even an interview?

You my friends, are a bunch of idiots.

Love,

Kristen

How Did This Thing Become Such An Issue?

So this is sitting at my house. Has been. Since like, March. I recently cleaned out my closet and rediscovered it. (OK, I knew it was in the closet the whole time but now its sitting on my floor so it has become an issue.) Why do I have this? Long, unimportant story. How did I end up being the resident giant-Miller Light-March Madness-bracket-keeper? How would I not? Who else is going to color code that thing by round? (All you boys who thought just a plain black Sharpie was fine for the whole thing, you were wrong. That thing looks way awesome in full color.) The whole point here is, I'm not sure what to do with it. It feels wrong to throw it away, though it isn't good for anything anymore. And yes, I have been having this discussion with myself since the tournament ended and yes, it is June now. So if anyone has any suggestions as to what to do with the giant Libation Station March Madness bracket, I would really, really appreciate it.

Soooo Georgie Wants You to Put A Ring On It?

(Was the title too much? It might be too much.)

It's been a while. Sometimes, you need to be inspired to write about...nothing. Well, all that nothing finally inspired me this evening. The following conversation just happened between me and my mother:

While discussing Glee, and its upcoming season finale, we started talking about next season. Anyone who's a 'Gleek' (yeah, I am one, I'll say it) knows that next season they are casting a 'Carrie Underwood type' to be Rachael's arch nemesis. (If you don't know what that means, don't worry, it just means you aren't awkwardly obsessed with a television show.) The point here is, we're talking Carrie Underwood. Which leads to talking about Carrie Underwood's engagement to Mike Fisher. (It's the hockey thing, we can't help it.) Which leads to talking about Hilary Duff's engagement to Mike Comrie.... (I'll start you part of the way through the conversation, otherwise we might sound nuts. Fine, we already are nuts but, we'll try to keep it to a minimum here.)

Me: Well, yeah, but have you seen Hilary Duff's engagement ring?!

Mom: Yes, but Mike Fisher is far better looking than Mike Comrie. Doesn't that matter? Wouldn't you rather be Carrie Underwood?

Me: You are correct. He is better looking. Far better looking. BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THAT RING? If those are my options, come on! I'm never going to be an American Idol but I still have a shot at being a Canadian's Girlfriend.... He is Canadian right?

Mom: Yes. They are both Canadian. But the one who got the million dollar ring found the Canadian hockey player slash heir so, may want to work on the American Idol thing too. Good luck with all that.

So in case you were ever wondering what the conversation is like between mother and daughter, there it is folks. Million dollar rings, Canadian hockey players, and TV shows that literally have no effect on anyone's life. So here's to family and all the wonderfulness that comes with it.