There is NO Way This Would Happen in Real Life

We all know Gossip Girl is a somewhat satirical (but totally accurate) look into the world of the extraordinarily fabulous Manhattan elite. Which is what made last night kind of difficult for me. I believe this show to be more of window into what people's actual lives are like and not so much a TV show that is completely fake. Like, I think Gossip Girl is less scripted than The Hills. Diluted? Yes. Can I help it? Negative.

So Nate buys an apartment in Murray Hill. The very idea that someone raised in his world would buy an apartment in Murray Hill (despite where is pot dealer lives) is arguably the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. The absolute most ridiculous thing I've ever heard is that living in the Village and Morningside Heights is basically like a long distance relationship. Most definitely. Is. Not.

Living apart from your significant other in Philadelphia and New York, that's long distance. Living apart in New York and Chicago, that's long distance. Living in the Village and Morningside Heights; that's not only the same state, it's the same freaking island. Give me a break you two, you don't even like each other. How are you going to live together in a neighborhood that is basically the Frat Row of New York? With your headbands and your Brooks Brothers suits. Puh-lease.

Neither of them would last a minute in Murray Hill. Or the Village. Or Morningside Heights. You can trust me on the last one. 113th and Manhattan Avenue will crush you Nate Archibald. Crush you.

I'm 23. This is the first time I've been on a train.

So I guess it starts here. I’ve been told I should write a blog (you know seeing as I’m so witty and smart, right?) and today I have been pushed to the limit of things that get on my nerves that I’m fairly certain piss others off too. So, here goes.

While I spend a decent amount of time traveling to New York City I generally do it from the comfort of my best friend, my Honda CRV. Leave at the right time of day, with the right set of tunes (from here and here the first half of New Jersey and here and here the second half) and you are there in two hours flat. This trip, however, has been slightly altered due to the incident that took place on 8th St. between Avenues B and C earlier this week. Please see pictures of how cool broken car windows are. (Don’t worry, nothing was taken from the car, not even my dazzling collection of show tunes.)

This has lead me to making my maiden voyage on the Septa/NJ Transit train tracks. While my Septa train smelled slightly of burnt rubber and was possibly the sweatiest place I’ve ever been in April, it was a delightfully peaceful ride. As I boarded my NJ Transit train I was quite excited at first glance. Double decker! Whose ever seen a train with two floors!? But it became apparent rather quickly that this was not going to be quite as peaceful a ride.

As an avid Pittsburgh Penguins fan and Slingbox user, I was excited to get on the train to watch game 2 of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals. Upon leaving my apartment I realized my headphones had been stolen (by my boyfriend, not whatever idiot smashed my window) so while I would have all the live TV I wanted I would have no sound. Things I can deal with include but are not limited to watching a sporting event without the sound. Is it the same? No. Is it tolerable? Of course. I’m just not one to put the sound on my computer while in a public place where I might be bothering those around me who are, presumably, trying to have a peaceful train ride themselves.

This brings me to my point. Things I cannot deal with include but are not limited to: You sitting across the aisle and one back, I love Taylor Swift too, but I don’t need to hear her new album from your iPod. Behind me, I don’t care if you’re boyfriend isn’t coming to New Jersey again tonight, I’m guessing there’s a reason. And finally, guy with the four year old, there is absolutely no need for you both to *shout* “CHOO-CHOO” every time the train leaves a stop. I know trains are cool and I’m aware that is the noise they make but take a page from the book of me and shut it. Just like no one cares about my hockey game no one cares that your son can say “choo-choo”.

So, normally I’m not so bitter. OK, I am, but not all of me is bitter all the time. So expect more rants and raves but not necessarily a constant flow of them. Especially if I never take the train again.