There's No Way This Happens To Other People

So in honor of it being Tuesday this would normally be a frothy, delicious Gossip Girl update. But due to extrenuating circumstances this is going to be a little different. OK, real quick because I can't resist. Chuck Bass taught us about Ponzi schemes and broke mine and Blair's hearts, Nate stood around like an idiot for 42 minutes, and Serena elevated the meaning of dumb blonde to new heights. No offense to all the blondes out there, I know there are plenty of highly intellignet ones but seriously, what is the matter with that girl? All in all a great episode to lead us into the finale. Also, God Bless Daily Intel for bringing the word lacrosstitute into the conversation. Or at least into my conversations.

But on to the real story.

The Scene: Suburban Station, Philadelphia, PA

The Players: Me, A fairly large group of people trying to get on a train, An ananoymous Septa worker, An R7 train

As I am following a line of people walking off the train, minding my business, I somehow get stuck in the door of the train. The person in front of me walked out just fine but as I am exiting the door begins to close and those suckers do not joke around when they are closing. The door hit me squarely in the arm leaving my back half and the backpack on my back in the train and one foot and my front half on the platform. I am inappropriately and uncontrollably laughing at this point and also trying to push the door open but seriously, those doors are not kidding around when they are trying to close. As I am standing there literally stuck:

Little Old Woman: Wow. You're really actually stuck in there. She's stuck in the door.

Me: Sure am.

At this point a Septa employee notices that there is a crowd gathering at the door where people should be boarding a train. Said Septa employee then notices me stuck in the door completely paralyzed and thusly comes running over to push the door open for me. But the door doesn't just push open so it's more him using every ounce of strength to try to pry the door out of my arm and me trying to wiggle out. Eventually I did work my way out.

Me: Thank you!

Septa Employee: OK, he didn't actually say anything he just stood there with an incredulous look on his face.

I then tried to walk off through the station like that didn't actually just happen but it did, so then I was the girl walking through Suburban Station laughing out loud. At myself. And if I could have had someone take a picture of this just so it was documented I totally would have but I wasn't really in the situation to be pulling out my Nikon to dedicate the moment.

Also, on an escalator yesterday in 30th Street Station I almost had to catch a nun to keep her from tumbling down the moving stairs. I don't think she had ever used an escalator before. I also had to stop myself from trampling her when she was unable to get off said escalator. I would have had to sacrifice a 6 piece chicken nugget meal for this and I wouldn't have been happy. Luckily she never actually fell she just came damn close. Just the getting stuck in the train door thing. So that's good. Right?

I'm 23. This is the first time I've been on a train.

So I guess it starts here. I’ve been told I should write a blog (you know seeing as I’m so witty and smart, right?) and today I have been pushed to the limit of things that get on my nerves that I’m fairly certain piss others off too. So, here goes.

While I spend a decent amount of time traveling to New York City I generally do it from the comfort of my best friend, my Honda CRV. Leave at the right time of day, with the right set of tunes (from here and here the first half of New Jersey and here and here the second half) and you are there in two hours flat. This trip, however, has been slightly altered due to the incident that took place on 8th St. between Avenues B and C earlier this week. Please see pictures of how cool broken car windows are. (Don’t worry, nothing was taken from the car, not even my dazzling collection of show tunes.)

This has lead me to making my maiden voyage on the Septa/NJ Transit train tracks. While my Septa train smelled slightly of burnt rubber and was possibly the sweatiest place I’ve ever been in April, it was a delightfully peaceful ride. As I boarded my NJ Transit train I was quite excited at first glance. Double decker! Whose ever seen a train with two floors!? But it became apparent rather quickly that this was not going to be quite as peaceful a ride.

As an avid Pittsburgh Penguins fan and Slingbox user, I was excited to get on the train to watch game 2 of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals. Upon leaving my apartment I realized my headphones had been stolen (by my boyfriend, not whatever idiot smashed my window) so while I would have all the live TV I wanted I would have no sound. Things I can deal with include but are not limited to watching a sporting event without the sound. Is it the same? No. Is it tolerable? Of course. I’m just not one to put the sound on my computer while in a public place where I might be bothering those around me who are, presumably, trying to have a peaceful train ride themselves.

This brings me to my point. Things I cannot deal with include but are not limited to: You sitting across the aisle and one back, I love Taylor Swift too, but I don’t need to hear her new album from your iPod. Behind me, I don’t care if you’re boyfriend isn’t coming to New Jersey again tonight, I’m guessing there’s a reason. And finally, guy with the four year old, there is absolutely no need for you both to *shout* “CHOO-CHOO” every time the train leaves a stop. I know trains are cool and I’m aware that is the noise they make but take a page from the book of me and shut it. Just like no one cares about my hockey game no one cares that your son can say “choo-choo”.

So, normally I’m not so bitter. OK, I am, but not all of me is bitter all the time. So expect more rants and raves but not necessarily a constant flow of them. Especially if I never take the train again.