The Soccer Momification of K. Fahn

I didn’t realize that moving back to the suburbs would make me a soccer mom. Apparently, it has. Fast. Let me start with the outfit I ran my errands in this afternoon. It included but was not limited to a zip up hoodie (Lion Ambassador Homecoming 2k6 whattttt!), jeans, sneakers, (like serious gym sneakers, though I don't exactly use them for the gym) and my Orange Bowl 2k6 hat (really went with the Penn State theme today). It may not sound like anything out of the ordinary but once I got out on my way and saw how many people (and by people I of course mean mother’s with 2 year olds) I was dressed like, I. Was. Mortified. That is literally the uniform of young mothers everywhere just in case you were wondering.

My day started with a trip to the supermarket to pick up dinner for the next two nights. Because, of course, what good mom doesn’t have dinner planned for more than one night? (Skirt steak and pork tenderloin, BTW.) On the way home I stopped by the local high school to support the Varsity hockey team fundraiser by buying a few Chiavetta’s chicken dinners. Had my pre-purchased tickets from the kid down the street and everything. By the time I got home I felt like I had aged about 30 years. I mean who comes home with three nights of dinner including one purchased to raise money for new uniforms for a high school freaking hockey team?

The one redeeming thing about this little adventure into motherhood (aside from the fact that there was no actual child involved, Thank God) was my choice of music as I pulled into the parking lot of the high school. If you’ve ever heard the song Shots by LMFAO (featuring Lil' Jon), you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t heard it, it isn’t the type of music you want to be listening to as an adult pulling into buy chicken from a bunch of high schoolers and their parents. I realized perhaps I’m not as much like a mom as I feel if the first line of songs I’m listening to are, “Get ready to get f*cked up!” Don't worry, I turned it off as I actually handed the man my tickets and received my meals.

Ahhhh, feeling so my age right about now.