1. I purchased this shirt at Express to wear as part of my business professional wardrobe. Though mine is grey, you get the idea. A perfectly standard shirt for such purposes right? Wrong again Kristen, wrong again. It took me about 5-7 minutes to put this shirt on. To put a shirt on. That is because, inexplicably, this ‘button down (button up?) shirt’ does not unbutton. Alternatively, I had to shimmy it over my head. No one should do any shimmying at 8:30am unless it involves a night that has lasted wayyyyy too long. I later learned that said shirt actually (also inexplicably) has a zipper up the side to make it easier to put on. Lesson: Before purchasing a shirt make sure you are 100% aware of how it works. It’ll save boatloads of time in the morning.
2. It wound up being a wacky day of weather in Buffalo. The sun was shining, rain was falling, snow may have fallen from the sky, there was hail, it was nutty. As I woke up this morning there was a fairly steady rain. I gathered this information because I stood stared, stared, at the kids waiting for the bus across the street for at least another 5 minutes. Just stood at my window, drinking my coffee, watching the kids wait for the bus. Realizing this sort of made me a pedophile, I shut the blinds. And refused to open them the rest of the day. Lesson: The only kids you should ever watch waiting for the bus are your own. And even then, really, get a life.
3. Based on the above stalking I determined I needed to wear a coat this morning. I do not, however, have any coats in Buffalo. I realize how this sounds but like I said, I’m avoiding moving. My only option in this whole house was my Lion Ambassador jacket. Now, as a Penn State Lion Ambassador we were given a lot of ‘gear’ to wear. The ever embarrassing formal gear included a blazer, the casual gear included a sweater, a polo, and the jacket. I didn’t mind wearing said jacket while giving tours, at events, even to class…while I was still in college. Not 2 ½ years later. On my way to a job interview. It has my name stitched onto it... Lesson: Be a grown up. Own a coat.
Me in said jacket. At a more appropriate time. GTLS. Don't. Ask.
4. From this point I made it almost all the way to the interview. Almost. As I said it was raining. Hard. I had not one but two umbrellas in my car. In the trunk. Since the whole idea of an umbrella is not to get wet in the first place I decided the best possible plan would be to crawl through the car to get it. In my business suit. And four inch heels. Did I mention I did this all for the world's largest KPMG golf umbrella? Which later fell off of what it was leaning up against and onto my interviewer. I should let you know I had to walk maybe 20 feet. Umbrella: Totally. Not. Worth. It. Lesson: Keep your umbrella at an arm's length. Alternatively, screw the umbrella and run like hell.
In other news, I did get offered the job. So apparently having the maturity and intelligence of a 12 year old can still get you pretty far in this world.
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