Best. News. Ever.

Western New York has a Restaurant Week. Restaurant Week is my favorite holiday of the year. I would be lying if I didn't say I thought it was really a thing that only happened in the Philadelphia's and Chicago's of the world but I am more than happy to have been wrong about this.

If you or anyone you know would like to take me on a date to any of the participating restaurants, feel free to contact me at anytime. I have the whole week available.

Easily One of the Stranger Conversations I've Ever Had

On Saturday I went to Baltimore for the Frozen Bikeless Bike Tour. This is a annual event that involves copious amounts of alcohol and very brightly colored sweatshirts. This year it also involved the following conversation via text.

Random 716 Phone Number: heyy :)

Me: Who is this? I got a new phone. (It was group consensus that this is the most democratic answer to texts from people who's numbers you don't recognize. That way if you do know the person, you're not exactly offending them. Hopefully.)

716#: mandi :)

Me: Mandi. I'm not sure we know each other.

716#: mike?

Me: Not Mike. Sorry wrong number.

716#: im so sry hun 2 bother yu..

Me: No worries!

(Now, let's all keep in mind she said she was sorry to bother me. Where I come from "I'm sorry to bother you" means "I realize that I'm interrupting your day and I'm sorry for that and I'm going to stop interrupting your day now." Not to mention we have already established I am not the boy who's phone number she thinks she got. Whoever you are Mike with the phone number similar to mine, thanks a bunch.)

716#: who is this thn, if yu dnt mind me askin

Me: Um, I'm just a girl from Buffalo.

716#: ru datin a guy named jon (Seriously.)

Me: Nope.

716#: ok gd lol haha take care thn

Now after we realized I wasn't Mike but then we learned I was a girl, why did we assume I might be dating Jon? How does Jon even play into this at all? I may not know alot about the etiqutte of accidentally texting random people but I'm pretty sure about 90% of that makes about 0% sense. But now that it's out there in universe, what do we suppose the story is here? I'm pretty sure I don't care but I'm also fairly certain I have to know now.

If anyone has any information regarding Mandi, Mike, Jon, and the apparent torrid love affair brewing between them, please post it in the comments.

Where Adults GoTo Play

I kid you not; that is the tag line for Lasertron in Buffalo. (If you think I'm trying to be funny, the website is here.) When I was a kid, the two times I ever went to Lasertron (Girlishness doesn't just happen suddenly, it's something you're born with. Like attached earlobes or the ability to make a hot dog shape with your tongue.) you just ran around, shooting each other with toy guns and then you would go outside, eat pizza, play video games, earn tickets, and use those tickets to get an awesome bouncy ball and an Airhead.

My, my how the times have changed.

OK, not really. Actually it's exactly the same. Except now, I'm 2 months shy of being 25. And Lasertron has a bar. A bar with $2 beers. Despite my extraordinary resistance to anything involving running around with a vest and attached lasergun, it's hard to pass up $2 beers. Especially because, come on, it's Lasertron. There's something entirely backwards (and hilarious) about me at the bar sucking down Blue Lights just to cope with the reality of my Friday night while a 13 year old is making a desperate stab at Dance Dance Revolution just to my left.

So yes, a group effort between .Net, The Goat, Da Kriski, Captain Solo, and El Nino got me into this mess. Let it be known I am an excellent defensive player (take that Captain Solo) and that the red team was born to win. Oh the tales of suburban adulthood....

Follow This!

It has happened. I have Twittered.

I know no one really cares what I think. I know I don't care that much about what anyone else has to say. But maybe you do care what I think. And maybe I do want to know what other people have to say. Otherwise this digital universe wouldn't have taken off right? I mean, the world of social media is the world is it not?

OK, so enough philosophical blathering about whatever it is that that just was, the point: I Twitter now. So this page will be changing a little bit so you can see everything that happens, all the time. I can see the smiles on your faces now...

Sidenote: I know this makes me crazy. Never claimed I was anything but.

And The Second Picture

Because apparently I'm computer illiterate.

And because you had to see the close up.

Everywhere I Go. Everywhere.

Denver is a fantastic city. In fact, I'll go so far as to say Colorado is generally awesome. Tons to do, tons to see, so much outdoorsy-ness. In my case, too much outdoorsy-ness. (Should I try to submit that word to Webster's? I'm thinking maybe.)

Fox and coyote in Buffalo are scary but they are nothing compared to the wildlife spotted on my vacation. I do not know what those things are but they were terrifying. On a drive from Red Rocks (amazing even if there isn't a musical act there) to Lookout Mountain (which I don't have a good picture of because I let my camera die and is also why the pictures (and by pictures I mean picture because Kristen can't figure out how get two photos on one post without the formatting being wacky) of creatures are not of the highest quality) the ride suddenly came to a dead stop. It took a minute to figure it out but all of a sudden we realize there are literally THIRTY of these deer/elk/moose/goat hybrids trying to cross the road. Anything that cannot be positively identified is the enemy. (I still don't know what these things are even though I know I read about them at the Science Museum the next day. Note to self: pay more attention when learning things.) I could swear they were looking at me, waiting to charge. I was 100% sure they wanted to eat me.

As it turned out all hundred million of them just crossed the road and went along their way. I suppose this is not surprising as I'm always convinced all kinds of animals are going to attack me and they never do. But the minute I let my guard down I'm totally going to be someones lunch. It. Is. Coming.

There's Something About Getting Away

I'm not one to get to emo on the blog here. I don't really wax poetic about my life and my dreams and what happens during my marriage and divorce. I write about wanting to be Lil' Wayne, how I feel like racoons are always out to attack me, and other generally mundane musings of suburban life.

This is not one of those days.

Today we do wax poetic and we do so about traveling. I have only seen half of Up in the Air (coincidentally this past weekend) but I can tell you I am 100% a kindred spirit of George Clooney's character. There is something to be said for knowing how to travel because if you know how to do it, there is nothing better. You hate airports? I love them. You can't sleep on a plane? I'm out like a light. You think hotels are gross? I'm well known for stealing all the toiletries because I love to reuse them. I also have a rule of thumb: If you know someone who lives somewhere and they are willing to put you up for a few days, DO IT. There are not going to be an unlimited number of times you are going to be able to find a place to stay, not only at no cost, but with people who can show you a place for what it really is, not for what everyone else sees. Also, when else do you have the opportunity to cruise through 5 issues of New York magazine cover to cover. When?!

It had been a while since I had been anywhere, sans a quick overnight in Philly, followed by a weekend in State College, and I have been itiching to get out. We all know I love, love, love Buffalo but that doesn't mean you can stay here 365 days a year.

So one Gchat conversation, a spin around the Orbitz website, six pairs of shoes packed for 4 days, and it was done. Impromptu weekend in Denver was set. Details will follow about the fabulousness, but this is simply here to say, how wonderful it is to get away.

(That was not meant to be so emo that it rhymed but I guess if we're going down the rabbit hole, we may as well really jump down there....)

Things I've Thought About And/Or Learned

1. I want to actually be Lil Wayne. Not be in his entourage, not be one of his baby momma's, but actually, literally be him. I think he's insanely awesome. If someone can name something un-awesome about that guy I'd love to hear it. (No, I don't care that he's going to jail on weapons charges. I think that adds to the swagger.) If you need some convincing, feel free to purchase this week's Rolling Stone and/or just click here. (In response to seeing him on the Rolling Stone cover Georgie simply said, 'What's he going to do in jail? Isn't that where people just get tattoos? He really should have thought of that ahead of time.' Because people's first thought when going to jail is always, 'Oh no! Where am I going to get all my prison ink with all the tattoos I already have?!' Alternatively, when getting tattoos people probably also think, 'Hmmmm, I may end up in jail someday so I better leave some skin available for when that happens.')

2. I've been bowling wrong for almost 25 years. Apparently you use your middle and ring fingers not your pointer and middle fingers to throw the ball. Who knew? I'm really hoping this revelation improves my game. It should be noted this information would have been really helpful before I bowled 3 games yesterday, not after.

3. Icy Hot is next to Godliness. Despite the fact that every time I put it on Georgie insists upon commenting about how strong it smells, I love it. Anything that makes your calves feel that good can smell however it wants.

4. Things I'm going to invent: Icy Hot that smells in a way in which I could wear it outside the house; crushed tomatoes that come in a box similar to chicken stock so they can be portioned out and stored in the fridge between uses; plastic wrap that doesn't make me want to light myself on fire when I'm just trying to cover a bowl.

5. I think people who Twitter are absolutely batshit crazy. Seriously just totally nutty. That being said, I'm really considering jumping on the bandwagon....

6. A friend tells me if you Google, "When will it get warm in Buffalo?" the answers are abysmal. At least, for today, I don't live where I used to; the photo is Central Park circa about 20 minutes ago.

This Is A Post About Literally Nothing. Literally. Nothing.

I've been itching for something to write about for the last few days. Just really, really have had the urge. (That's the point of a blog right? That and the self-indulgence of it all; I know.) Turns out there is no way to turn the following things into witty, hilarious stories:

1. Bowling a 53. Yeah, it happened.
2. Training on a treadmill in your basement for your half-marathon. Really, it's just watching DVD's in motion. (Just traded 2 seasons of The Office for my friend JK's first 2 seasons of Dawson's Creek. It's amaaaaaaaazing.) (Like I've said, I expected better stories about this. I thought I was going to be one of those people on The Biggest Loser who just bites it on the treadmill. Seriously, I think my Mom cleans the basement while I run because she fears I might spontaneously combust or something.)
3. Applying to jobs such as electrian, automotive technician, and graphic designer.
4. Menu planning and cooking dinner for you and your Mom like the Pres and Michelle are coming over to break bread.

Seriously, that's my life ever since the running epiphany.

So, I guess I kind of turned that into a story. But, not really.

You Win All You Fit, Happy People. You Win.

I had a horrible morning. Like, epically awful. In fact, most mornings lately I wake up, turn on my computer and think, "What fresh hell will this bring today?" So yeah, it was one of those mornings. Today also happened to be my first run for the half-marathon. So all I wanted to do was have a stiff drink, a Happy Meal (literally, a Happy Meal), and to watch the Grammy's over and over again in my very cozy bed. (On that note, the Grammy's were awesome and while the 3-D Michael Jackson tribute was difficult to watch without the glasses, getting to see the likes of Beyonce and Rihanna wear them made it totally worthwhile.) But instead of all of that wonderfulness, I had a 2 mile run ahead of me.

I should also mention that I have always thought people who wax poetic about how running makes them feel great (emotionally, endorphins and such), are pretty much full of it. Preparing for this run I had a whole post brewing in my head about how the running didn't really help make me feel better but the Jameson and the Ben & Jerry's did and thusly, I am right and you are all wrong.

Resisting my want to bag the run and head for the bar, I ran.

And honestly, I apologize. You were not all full of shit all this time. In fact, you all may have been right all along. I feel wonderful and my morning troubles have been nicely tucked away into a tiny box, never to be opened again.

All this does not mean I will not be returning for Monday night bowling and beers. Baby steps here people. Baby steps and rewarding oneself for being great.