What Is This Country Thinking?

OK, I'm not one to get on her soapbox very often. I find it usually gets me in a spot of trouble so I try to focus on the lighter side of life. To quote the fabulous Samantha from Sex and The City, "I don't believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties." That being said, I am going to hoist myself up there real quick.

My mom asked me today what I thought about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's recent wedding. Had I seen any pictures? Do I think they're really married this time? Which got me thinking: Really married? This time? A timeline of events for those of you who don't eat US Weekly for breakfast like I do.

• The second episode of season 3 of 'reality' TV show The Hills entitled Big Girls Don't Cry (I am not sure on dates here. I never claimed to be a journalist.): Spencer proposes to Heidi for the first time, with possibly the ugliest ring ever. Seriously, never propose to me with a purple ring, I don't care how great an idea it seems because you are daring to be different. Dare to be different when you cook me dinner, not with my engagement ring.


• December 19, 2007: US Weekly publishes a cover story about why Heidi called off her wedding. We watched her do this at the end of the third season of The Hills. You know she flies off to Colorado to see her mom, drink hot cocoa, recover from more plastic surgery...but I digress.


• November 19, 2008: Heidi and Spencer 'elope' in Mexico after he gets her drunk. Alright to be fair, she was drunk when he asked her to elope, not during the actual ceremony. And I'm not sure it counts as eloping if you have a white, floor length dress you just happened to pack, flower arrangements, and the crew of US already there to do a cover story. But again, I digress.


• Sometime between then and the December 23, 2008 season 4 finale of The Hills: Heidi and Spencer go to a Los Angeles courtroom to make aforementioned elopement legal. And besides the fact that he stopped her part way through so she 'could have the wedding she always wanted' blah, sh*t, blah, the whole thing was a setup. A Los Angeles Superior Court official came out to say that MTV used the facilities after hours and whomever was sitting behind the bench was not one of their judges. So even if it had gone through, it wouldn't have been a real, official, legally recognized marriage.


• April 25, 2009: Heidi and Spencer actually get married. I would still like to see a marriage certificate but, yes, they actually tied the knot. A white dress, big church and Lauren Conrad in attendance? It had to be real.
  

So am I embarrassed at the amount of research I just did on this subject? Of course. But it brings me to my point: Have these two (yes these two making out in the surgical masks) not made a complete and total mockery of the sacrament of marriage? Have they not been engaged, unengaged, married, not really married, and married again just for the tabloid press?

Just wanting to be clear here: because they are a man and a woman they can do all of this (which basically makes marriage mean nothing if you ask me) to simply become more famous. Yet, we are worried that allowing same sex couples to get married might ruin the integrity of our country? Same sex couples who do not want more press but simply want to have the same rights as my mom and dad did or me and my future husband will have. It's all the gays and lesbians who are going to make a mockery of the sacrament of marriage?

Hmmm. OK. Great work America. Glad our priorities are straight here.

So to answer your question Mom: I don't think much of anything about this wedding. It just makes my heart hurt a little for all the people out there who actually deserve the right to be married. Oh and my stomach is turning a little.

Stepping off the soapbox now and returning you to your regularly scheduled programming.